A lot of people choose not to outright state that they’re interested in casual dating or casual sex on their online profiles, and that’s for a good reason: There are a lot of creeps online. As a bisexual woman who was only sorta, kinda looking for a serious relationship back when I was frequenting OkCupid, I learned all too quickly what happened when I said I was interested in “casual sex.” I was interested in casual sex but you can bet that I took it off of my profile faster than you can say “friends with benefits” because I got inundated with messages from dudes who assumed that they could get super explicit before even saying “Hi.” Somehow seduction and common decency just flew out the window as soon as those guys thought the words “NSA sex.”
And that’s a bummer, you know? I think I could have made better matches if I’d felt like people would still be respectful of me as a person if I made my interests clear. Also, a lot of mismatches and hurt feelings could be averted if people felt comfortable being straight up about the fact that they’re only looking for something casual. Instead we’re stuck with people who are looking for life partners going out on dates with people who just want someone to hook up with that night. Lose/lose, right?
Obviously the bigger issue is our culture – which not only views casual intimate relationships and casual sex as invalid but also shames people who are interested in those types of relationships – and, unfortunately, that’s not changing any time soon. (But we’re working on it! Více
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