If you think about the moments when you feel like your absolute sexiest, most powerful self – what do you picture? Are you banging it out with your partner, or enjoying a solo session with your favorite toy? Chances are you aren’t worried about the dimples on your butt or how much you want to tone your arms. Unfortunately, though, this isn’t always the case for many folks. When you’re in the heat of the sexual moment with your S.O., the last thing you want on your mind is what your partner is thinking about your back fat, or the cellulite on your thighs, or whether they think your belly is getting a little too soft. The reality, however, is that many plus-size people regularly deal with these intrusive thoughts and anxieties in the bedroom. For some, it can be really damn hard getting on top when you’re plus-size.
Feeling sexy and confident in the bedroom can be difficult for anyone, but those in bigger bodies tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to sexual appreciation. Fatphobia is deeply ingrained in society’s beauty “standards,” which doesn’t exactly promote self-esteem for plus-size folks. “Bigger people, fat people, and plus-size people are still stigmatized in our world, so this can create mental disruption and anxiety when it comes to getting on top for sex,” Marla Renee Stewart, a sexologist, sex educator, and founder of Velvet Lips Sex Ed, tells Bustle. “There are many things that we can be self-conscious about when it comes to our bodies; most notably, our stomachs, FUPAs, and thick thighs, which can take some manipulation when getting on top.”
Still, Stewart shares that riding your partner like a true cowgirl (or cowperson) can be empowering, and feel really good. “Being on top means being in control of our pleasure and how we move our bodies, so being on top helps us to have a perspective of where we’re going to get our pleasure,” she explains coffee meets bagel mobiel. Více